~~ feel so nice ~~

finally i gt the real ans by him..
feel so happy..
feel so free..
no more burden..
secretly admiring him for so long..
oways never gt the real ans from him..
lastime everytime when i say..
he will suddenly dun reply me..
like hiding from me..
but i totally giv up him le..
coz i have my hubby le..
juz nw i on9..
he chat with me..
i gt tell hubby hor..
haha..
muz tan bai with my hubby d..
he saw i cut wrist de pic le..
very angry..
kept ask me wat happen..
i dun wan say..
den i tell him i totally giv up him le..
ask him nex time no nid scare to reply my sms le..
den he say he nt scare to reply my sms..
he all the while treat me as sis..
n very sayang me as sis..
really happy when he say dis..
coz all the while in oe he treat me as sis..
but didn say out let me noe..
i insist he be my gor..
he agree le..
but dun let me call him gor..
sad..
hahaha..
but nvm..
at least i noe the real ans le..
nw i gt the ans..
i giv up le oso no regret le..
xixi..
muz happy happy with my hubby forever orhx..
me n hubby edy together 452 days le..
xixi..
hope can have many many 452 days ba..
xixi..

~~ 昨晚好累 ~~

昨晚bee和朋友出去到十一点多才回来。。
等啊等。。
结果回来了肚子痛。。
跑去厕所做 “cake”。。
本来还在跟bee sms 的。。
谁知道。。
我太累了。。
就不小心睡着了。。
对不起啊bee。。
没跟你说一声就oioi了。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。

~~ 小福婆 ~~

昨天很幸福哦。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。
dar dar陪我一天了。。
其实也不算一天啦。。
就从一点多到六点半而已。。
一下就过了。。
sob sob。。
可是没关系啦。。
至少有陪我咯。。
可是有点难过。。
因为星期二是最后一天见面了。。
过后我就不能出去了。。
要等到十二月才能再见面。。
有点舍不得。。
可是没办法。。
因为我有考试。。
他也很忙。。
所以要体谅对方咯。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。
raya了。。
要跟朋友去马来朋友家。。
以前都没去过耶。。
不懂会是怎样的。。
每次说要去。。
最后都没去。。
这次一定要去才可以。。
因为是最后一年了。。
要好好珍惜剩下的两个月。。
过了这两个月就没见面了。。
希望那些无聊人士也会珍惜这两个月。。
不要再做那些无聊的事让人觉得累烦。。。
大家加油吧！！。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。

~~ 原来 ~~

也许是我迟钝吧。。
原来你们有那么多不满。。
本来以为跟我最好认识那么久的会是最了解我的。。
可是我错了。。
原来都不是。。
反而认识久我最相信的是最容易被别人抢走的。。
我说过如果有不满就说出来。。
不然感情不会好。。
也不会更了解对方。。
可是你们却什么都不说。。
最后把错都推给我。。
算了。。
我认了。。
好。。
一切都是我的错。。
一切的一切都是我的错。。
现在我明白了。。
越相信的人越容易被别人抢走。。
这种感觉真的很痛。。
好累。。
好烦。。
没话说。。
刚才补习。。
朋友看到我。。
有点吓到。。
二姐也是。。
突然觉得我怎么突然瘦了一圈。。
脸色不好。。
我静静没话说。。
二姐知道我每天从早哭到晚。。
睡也没睡好。。
也没吃。。
可是因为穿校服所以没注意我瘦了那么多。。
我自己也被吓到了。。
是好事还是坏事我也不懂。。
好烦。。
好累。。
一点心情都没有。。

~~ coming bek le ~~

he is coming bek le..
tmr jiu bek le..
heiz..
duno y feel so insecure..
everyday feel so pek chek..
chamz...
these few days dou didn really chat lur..
he duno bz wat..
kept go out with fren d..
den morning oni bek hostel..
heiz....
suan le..
wan go tuition le..
tataz..

~~ tired ler ~~

todae toi celebrate her bday at city delight..
so me..xiiao xuan and jia yan went out early to buy her present and go walk walk lur..
first we pei xiiao xuan go c baju..
haha..
test test den finally buy 1 shorts..
me choose d ler..
kekekezz..
den we go pink house..
tot wan c present d..
but who noes we kept c our own thing..
haha..
in the end we really buy our own thing lur..
until me pok gai d..
hahaha..
chamz..
in the end really no choice liao..
me kept nag..
den jia yan oso start nagging..
so we 2 go n c her present lur..
finally decide wat we really wan to buy..
hahaha..
nw think bek girls really a bit ma fan hor..
hahaa...
we walk to city delight there..
saw a few ppl..
heiz..
we really like duo yu de..
but we didn care them lur..
duno y i can feel toi nt happy..
maybe i still treat her as gud fren ba..
thats y i can feel..
todae nt many girls come..
but many boys..
den she feel a bit sad coz many ppl didn come..
duno she really gt sad or nt la..
juz i can feel it lur..
maybe dis year is the last year we elp each other to celebrate bday le..
wish u happy birthday orhx..
hope our friendship will be everlasting..
take care toi..

~~ sry n thanks ~~

thanks for all the concern..
especially from
xiiao xuan..
ah yun meimei..
quinnie jie..
n my dearest yao bang gor..
sry for making u all so angry..
coz i really very hurt n sad oni will do that..
hope u all will understand ..
sry gor for nt finding u when i have problems..
i noe i promise u b4..
really sry..
thanks for promising me that u wont care that bitch again..
sry for manking all of u worry about me..
i promise..
after spm i will go find yao bang gor n quinnie jie d..
xixi..
lub u all so much..
take care..

~~ pek chek ar ~~

pek chek 了很多天了。。
真的很pek chek。。
也很气。。
第一次 这样气。。
以前不管友情出现了什么事。。
我做多只会天天在房间哭。。
这次真的伤到了。。
哭了有哭。。
不想再想可是还是一直会想。。
我真的太信任她了。。
才会这样。。
被利用就算了。。
还被他害。。
让他来挑拨。。
让他来勾引我男友。。
真的够了。。
从来没看过这种人。。
自己有了男友还这样。。
这些就算了。。
还把别人的话乱翻来翻去。。
害别人误会。。
怎是贱。。
真的很气。。
快喘不过气来了。。
好痛苦。。
我该怎么办。。。
我真的不知道。。。
好烦。。
好累。。
好想死了算了。。
求老天爷。。
快让以外发生在我身上。。
不想活了。。
好痛苦。。
在活下去只是一种则麽。。
好累。。。

~~ 缘分好奇妙 ~~

今天突然想写这个。。
也不知道是怎么了。。
就写了。。
突然觉得缘分这种东西真奇怪。。
去年2007年。。
这段缘分就这样开始了。。
刚开学的某一天。。
突然注意到了一个男生。。
被两个好朋友发现了。。
我们以前都喜欢早早就去学校。。
也不知道是为什么。。
6点45分 前一定会到学校。。
这个男生大多数都是7点 – 7点多才会到学校。。
我的班就在他班对面楼下。。
每天早上到会早去perhimpunan哪里等他到学校。。
看他走回班。。
看他和朋友走来perhimpunan。。
一下课就会看他出来了没。。
要上课了也会看他进班了我才回去我的位子坐。。
很奇怪吧？？
后来我负责了e~m@g。。
我开始了校花校草的比赛。。
把学校不错的男女都写进去。。
可是就是不知道他的名字。。
我遇到他很多很多次。。
可是每次都看不到。。
又一次真的很丢脸。。
他和朋友刚从厕所出来。。
经过我和我朋友。。
我把头胜过去看。。
差点撞到他的肚子。。
被朋友笑。。
真讨厌。。
可是还是看不到。。
每天都在做一样的事。。
不知不觉就过了五个月。。
有一天我和朋友去草卢想买东西吃时。。
看到他在counter还钱。。
我和三个朋友就决定一定要看到他的名字。。
我们四个站在不同的角度看。。
他走向前了。。
我们四个都看到了。。
o(∩_∩)o…哈哈。。
还一起讲他的名字讲到很大声。。
有点白痴对吧。。
o(∩_∩)o…哈哈。。
到了这里缘分就慢慢开始了。。
某一天我在friendster里面看到了他的profile。。
可是不敢add他。。
到了学校就马上跟二姐说。。（二姐=我的好朋友）
他们都骂我干嘛不add。。
害我有点伤心。。
回到家。。
本来想add了。。
谁知道。。
他先add我了！！
就这样开始聊comment。。
不久之后开始用sms聊。。
我和二姐去了学校kaunseling的trip。。
在巴士上一直sms。。
二姐也有看啦。。
o(∩_∩)o…哈哈。。
在trip的第二天开始聊电话。。
刚开始没什么话说。。
都是我在说啦。。
o(∩_∩)o…哈哈。。
我和二姐跟神经病一样一直笑一直吵。。
第三天是他的生日。。
我和二姐都没睡。。
故意等到十二点。。
打给他。。
喊很大声生日快乐给他。。
也不懂有没有吓到他。。
幸好没有。。
o(∩_∩)o…哈哈
回来后就有一直sms。。
二姐也时常在friendster跟他聊。。
过了不久。。
每天早上他都会来二姐的班找我。。
可是只是一下下他就回班了。。
时间久了。。
他就没回班了。。
早上来找我后一起走去perhimpunan。。
久了。。
下课他也会来找我。。
学校老师可以说大多数都知道了。。
还每次作弄我。。
到现在也是一样。。
后来我们在一起了。。
不知道为什么。。
一直吵架。。
我的疑心病越来越重。。
吵到很厉害。。
结果分手了。。
那时感情还没那么深。。
因为我受过伤。。
所以不敢把感情全部丢下去。。
十二月了。。
我还是放不下。。
有一天和ah hong gor和ah boy出去玩。。
那时妈妈爸爸去了新加坡。。
我没去。。
因为我朋友来我加住。。
晚上ah boy问我要不要叫他出来喝茶。。
我也不知道怎么了。。
很快就说要！！。。
Ah boy叫我打电话给他。。
我打了。。
刚开始他没接。。
可是后来他接了。。
也答应跟我们出来。。
我们约在ah boy的店外面见。。
他来了。。
看到我。。
可是没说话。。
后来ah boy说架两辆车。。
我就说我要坐他的车。。
在车上他都不是很想跟我说话。。
后来找不到地方去。。
就回去ah boy的店。。
然后大家都坐ah boy的车去喝茶。。
喝茶的时候他坐在我旁边。。
静静都不说话。。
问他也只回答几句。。
喝到一半。。
他开始踏我的脚。。
我们就开始玩起来。。
后来要回了。。
在ah boy的车里面他牵了我的手。。
一直到我到家。。
我哭了。。
我把自己锁在房间哭了。。
朋友很担心。。
可是我什么都没说。。
我们还是没复合。。
2008年。。
开学几个月后。。
我们又联络了。。
是我找他的。。
找他来教我add math。。
他几乎天天都来我家。。
有时还会到晚上。。
妈妈爸爸也认识了他。。
不久后我们复合了。。
爸爸带我和他出去吃。。
被姑丈看到了。。
回去跟姑姑他们说我有男朋友。。
害我很pai seh 。。
感情本来一直都很好。。
直到一个贱女人的出现。。
搞了很多事出来。。
计划要让我们分。。
她成功了。。
我们真的分了。。
他勾引了他。。
做了很多很多让我伤心的事。。
去了我还没去过的家。。
和他去看我还没和他看过的烟火。。
说到这里。。
又哭了。。。
一个月后。。
我发现了。。
我早已经把感情都放进去了。。
我找了他。。
想复合。。
他答应了。。
可是在复合的第二天。。
我知道了所有的真相。。
很痛苦。。
也很心痛。。
不知道要怎么办。。
真的很想死了算了。。
很气那个贱女人。。
有了男友还来勾引别人。。
我四天没胃口吃东西了。。
一直哭。。
昨天我真的受不了了。。
我把照片烧了。。
割了自己。。
很气。。
气为什么会被那个贱女人利用。。
气为什么会让她计划成功。。
气为什么不早点看出她的真面目。。
决定了。。
以后不管再发生什么是。。
不管是谁在说什么再做什么。。
如果他没做对不起我的事。。
我是绝对不会再和他分！！
因为他真的对我很重要！！
希望这段缘分能一直到永远吧。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。

爱你哦。。

~~ you force me ~~

really hate u all..
u all force me de..
really very hurt...
y wan treat me like dat..
really hate hate hate !!!!!!!!!!!!!

our memories are gone..
gone forever..
aft u will get wat u deserve..
really hate u....

end of everything...


broke it n throw it..
dun wan c it anymore!!!!


khl dis is wat u force me to do..
i said i will do it 5 times..
dis is the first line..
juz watch..
really hate all of u..
heart really aches..

~~ really very angry !! ~~

that idiot bitch..
really no place for me to fa xie le..
so i fa xie to u..
sry ya my dear blog..
hw can she do that to me.
when i treat her as sis n dote her so much?
planned everything to make me n my bf break ..
den go n gou yin him..
sms him..
ask him go her houe..
2 person oni..
den fetch her go out..
go seaside..
go eat..
think wat..
think is her bf a..
hey bitch u gt bf dy okay..
all dis jiu suan le..
midnite still go my bf houe..
walao..
really pissed off..
i haven go bf she go edy..
go his room summore..
really feel like killing myself..
yest so many bom fall on me..
from afternoon ah rong phone n tell me..
den continue many bom...
yest if i really cant take it i eally wan kill myself..
pek chek..
gastric..
like to ask so many different boy go our house..
go boy houe..
den better go becum ********** better..
can get money oso..
really pek chek..
nw u wan separate me n my bf..
u try n c..
c wat will giv u..

~~ noe something lost something ~~

dis afternoon jian rong phone me..
tell me everything..
suddenly found out so many thing..
that 2 faced bitch wan gou yin my bf..
nan guai kept ask me break..
shit bitch..
her bf really very ke bei..
suan le..
dun wan say that le..

dis time i forgive u..
dun bei pan me again..
if nt u will noe..
chou bee..

nex is i finally gt my directions bek..
my dear mei come bek le..
really very happy..
everything bek to normal..

all thing caused my that 2 faced bitch..
really hate her..

nex i lost 2 friends..
especially the one who understand me most..
wei jie...
wei jie i wont giv up dis friendship d..
i noe u angry coz u care me..
thats y will like dat..
i wont put those hurting words in my heart d..
i will try my bez to hold on to dis friendship..
will prove to u de..
ur health nt gud..
i noe u well..
u nid me..
eventhough i nid u dis friend be by my side..
but u nid me more..
so no matter wat..
i wont leave u alone de..
no matter wat happens..
u r still my bez buddy ..
no one can replace..
i wont giv up getting bek our friendship..
n i will make it even stronger the bond..
juz watch..
dis is my promise to u..

as for me..
i patch bek with my bee..
hope he wont hurt me again..

dis 3 mths really will be very bz..
hope meimei n bee will understand n ti liang me..
regained my energy after meimei come bek to me..
lost my energy after knowing the truth dis afternoon..
n lost wei jie..
but nvm..
i will regained my energy bek again coz my meimei oways be by my side nw..
gambateh..
spm n friendship with wei jie..
i will get it all bek d..
!!!!

~~ wat i left ~~

me nw left ntg..

luckily i still have 4 gor gor who care me..
tanks alvin gor..
kim hou gor..
ah hong gor..
and my dear yao bang gor..

dis 4 gor really is the bez gor in the world..

n my last meimei an ching meimei..

nw is the dearest to me..
sms almost everyday when i gt time..

n my closest don didi..
and yian chang didi

as to gary didi n kelvin didi..
really duno le..


other than that really left ntg..
juz shell..

~~ thanks for d concern ~~

thanks for all the concern guys..
really thanks..
me i think ok le gua..
nt so pain le..
coz gt keep eat the strong pain killer..
still can control..
really tired n stress..
tot after spm wan go kl with her..
nw she left me all alone..
after spm wan go where i duno..
wan go with who i oso duno..
wan do wat i oso duno..
lost all my direction..
plan everything for her..
nw everything has changed..
really duno wat to do..
wo can help me.!!
pls tell me..

~~ didn go for exam ~~

dis morning wake up le stomach damn pain d..
actually yest night jiu start pain le..
i tot eat pain killer le den will okay..
who noes morning so pain..
we still ren zhu go n bath..
in the bathroom nearly fainted..
whole body so cold..
kept having cold sweat..
lips so white face so pale..
i look into the mirror oso gt shock..
pain till really cant stand..
try to hold on to the phone n call my mum ..
ask her go to sch n tell teacher i cant go for exam..
really very pain..
den phone simran..
ask her help me tell teacher oso..
b4 hanging up i drop the phone..
went unconsious..
i guess i fainted in the end..
haha..
i woke up at 8.30..
still feel very pain..
wearing my sch uni..
den eat pain killer again..
i wonder hw many times i eat the pain killer edy..
maybe over dose le gua..
waited and waited for them to finish exam..
haha..
they r indeed my gud friends..
thanks for the concern ya xiao xuan n simran..
they phone me immediately when they reach home..
asking me hw am i..
really very touched..
we planned to go to pizza hut todae..
but i didn go to sch so they think i sure very serious..
coz they noe me well..
if i still can bear it i will still go for exam n go to sch..
so the quickly phone me n ask me hw am i le..
i say i eat pain killer le think ok gua..
den they ask me still can go pizza mah..
den i say can lur..
so we went for pizza hut..
really so so fun..
really enjoy..
den we went to the arcade to fa xie ourselves coz me n xiao xuan mood very bad these few days..
many things happen especially to me..
really very sad..
at first i dun wan play the basketball d..
but xiao xuan n jia yan kept ask me play..
so me n simran play 1 time..
me vs simran..
haha..
first time play..
really very shuang lur..
but hand very tired..
me xiao xuan n jia yan n sim all forst time play..
and wat a shock i score the highest..
me score 67..sim 13..jia yen 47..xuan 30..
after than we went for car racing..
me score no 6 when vs jia yan..
she score 2nd..
den when vs sim i score 4th n sim 5th..
really fa xie le..
after that xuan n yan go tuition uncle le..
so i pei sim shopping..
really very fun n enjoyable..
so long didn go like dat le..
hope we 4 will be together 4ever..
never apart..

~~ in the end ~~

Some words no nid to say to say so clearly d ba..
I tot we r sisters for such a long time..
U will understand..
But I am wrong..
U never understand n dun understand at all..
Oways think the negative way..
N blame me..
I never didn trust u b4..
If I dun trust u..
I wont tell u everything..
If I dun trust u..i wont be so close with u..
If I dun trust u when I heard ppl say anything I wont ask u juz trust them..
I ask u bcoz I trust u..i wan to let u noe that's y I ask u..
U say I didn treat u ask my sis didn care u..
If I didn care u..
I wont be so hurt when u let ppl harm again..
I wont be so hurt when I found out u cut ur wrist..
I wont be so angry when in noe they harm u again and again..
If I dun care u I wont use so much time planning where to go..
Wat to do after my exam..
Even xiao xuan noes about it..
But u never realized..
U oni noe hw to blame me dun care u..
Dun trust u..
But I juz kept quiet..
I always watch u from a far..
C who is around u..
Try to noe wats going on around u..
Trying to help u to c if there is anyone who wants to harm u..
Try to c r u okay..
But wat I get is u trust that 2 faced gal..
Twisting and turning other ppl's words to make ppl quarrel..
4get it..
I dun even care about her anymore..
She wat like dat up to her..
My exam is coming neare n nearer..
I told u b4 I will be bz preparing..
Tot u will understand n ti liang me..
Coz I tot strong relationship can undergo dis kind of short apart..
But I am wrong..
U blame me for nt caring u..
Blame me for everything..
I seldom use hp anymore..
Sometimes my mum is here I cant even ans the phone..
N I headache n sick for many days le..
Sometimes really very pain untl cant stand so dun wan pick up any phone calls..
Bro going bek uk..
Me go sg many times to settle his things..
In sg of coz cant use hp n cant reply..
N my hp is 1 whole year wont expired..
So I didn bother to top up oso..
After all I have no time using it..
But u blame me for nt replying u..
Nvm I bear..
I tot after my exam we can sit down n talk nicely n get everything in order again..
But u choose to listen to that gal..
I have nothing to say..
In sch gt no chance to talk at all..
At first is pengawas cannot talk to fren during jaga time..
Nw I retired le but bz with exam..
No time to talk at all..
When I have time u r with ur friends..
When u r free I am doing my work discussing or eating with my fren..
Each of us have our own friends rite..
In sch we r same form..
So of coz most of the times we r together discussing n talking..
Ur class is so far from mine..
Sometimes wan meet oso very hard..
But blame me again..
Kay nvm..
Everything juz blame me ba..
After all ur friends also listen to that gal..
U all together d time more than with me..
I understand..
Nw everything has ended..
Crying somemore is no used..
U choose to end I respect u..
Juz hope xue li will elp me take care of u..
Some of the things I no nid to say it so clearly..
If u understand u will noe..
Some words I will juz keep in my heart..
Some words is use heart to feel no nid oways say out de..
But it seems u never feel it b4..
I oso have nothing to say le..
The end..
Take care..

~~ happy n sad ~~

really duno wan happy or sad lur..
first happy d thing is our nichiren shoshu d hair stylish..
dear ah man gorgor gt gf lur!!!'
nex time our camp he sure bring her go geh!!
hahaha...
nex happy thing is his gf is actually my kai jie when i am in form 1 and form 2..
his gf is kar yan jie..
lastime when me form 1 n 2 we oways chat in msn together n use yahoo messenger talk n sing..
me..kar yan jie..shi rois may han jie..vivian jie and kar yan jie d ex bf my kelvin gor..
that time they r pmr n vivian jie n may han jie in college le..
when i form 3 we slowly lost contact le..
den when form 4 we totally lost contact le..
nw found them bek really very happy..
n jiejie becum ah man gor d gf lagi happy..
but the sad thing is they duno still rmb me or nt..
heiz.....
3 big jiejie ar..
dun forget me dis meimei orhx...pls pls pls...
waiting for u all to reply me in friendster..
miss u all so much..

~~ bz week ~~

these few days really very bz..
getting more n more sick..
headache n fever n flu..
but still have to stay up late until midnite to study..
get up early in the morning for exam..
really very touturing..
send e-mail to a few college in singapore and m'sia..
if cant manage to study in poly..
maybe i will be studying in nilai or inti college..
or maybe taylor..
still nt sure..
my enquire letter haven send bek to me yet..
m'sia do work really very slow..
duno when oni will reply my letter..
heiz...

~~ heart ache ~~

really sad...
gt to find out the truth during my exam period..
really killing me..
the pain really undescrible..
i doted hr..
care for her..
help her when ppl say her..
oways try to protect her..
accompany her when i have time..
but wat i get is betrayed..
she used me to help her..
used me when she nid me..
nw when she dont nid me anymore..
she juz kicked me aside..
really very dissapointed in u..
cry for the whole night..
in sch still hav to kept smiling so that my friend wont ask anything..
really vry terrible..
cant stand it anymore..
love n care for the wrong person..
accept u as my sis rally is a big mistake..
really feel very stupid..
it s still the same..
ntg changed..
ppl from my sch are cunning..
non of them can be trust..
nw learn my lesson..
never giv the ppl from my sc to get near me..
onli like that can prevent me from being hurt again..
really heart ache..

~~ 好累。。 ~~

好久没来打blog了。。
因为没什么东西要写。。
而且也很忙。。
因为一直考试。。
还要去新加坡弄哥哥的东西。。
好累好累。。
昨晚11pm刚从新加坡回来。。
送哥哥去机场。。
哥哥又回去英国了。。
又是剩下我一个人。。
可是没关系啦。。
他回来的时候有陪我。。
还带我和他女友去新山。。
晚上也带我们去吃夜宵。。
这些他从来都没做过的。。
(*^__^*) 嘻嘻……。。
可是我因为考试所以好几次都不能和他们一起去新山唱K。。
有点失望咯。。
哈哈。。
我换了新眼镜了。。
其实也没什么啦。。
中了NS有点难过。。
不是很想去咯。。
哎。。
闷啊！！。。